Israeli Rebellion Against the Climate

The climate rebels surrounded Tel Aviv Stock Exchange and painted the asphalt in vivid scarlet. The management of TASE surrendered and agreed to all the demands. From tomorrow, Earth will start to cool down and all the animals and trees in danger of extinction will be entitled to bodyguards for protection and monthly Social Security food stamps.

A UN committee was set up to discuss the details. It was leaked that Brazil is to be declared United Nation protectorate, the Amazonas will be fenced and the entrance for humans, forbidden. Kenya, Uganda and Zimbabwe are to be re-organized as one Eco-Zoological Garden, the natives to be re-settled in Stockholm, Los Angeles and Tel Aviv.  

Optimism in the Bourse

El Al jumped 14% with no reason in sight. The banks lifted 3-4%. I can't explain.

Praying to my Made-Up God

I am not ashamed to confess that I am going to pray on Yom Kippur and fast and beg absolution for my sins. You can say: J., with your astronomic IQ, you... you! praying to a God you don't believe in? Yes! Yes! Anna Frank wrote her diary as letters to Kitty, an imaginary friend she never had. No one laughed on her. My financial mentor, Napoleon Hill, advised to imagine a Council of Sages that I should consult before taking decisions. I should ask long dead guru Benjamin Graham about investments and so. Millions follow his advice.

I am convinced that humans need god/gods, so I made up one for my personal use. In fact, being a Jew there was no need to invent it because he was already fully made up by hundreds of generations of Jews before me. Next Thursday, the Day of Atonement, he will be there hearing my prayer and accepting my fast and letting me start anew free of the weight of a year of inexistent transgressions. It is almost as good as he really does exist and care. May be, better.

Gmar Hatima Tova! Should You Be Inscribed in the Book of Life, and not in the Book of  Mot (Mavet, in Hebrew, Death)! 

2,000 year old man

Shirley

C REINER: (As Interviewer) Sir, could you give us the secret of your longevity?

MEL BROOKS: (As 2,000 Year Old Man) Well, the major thing - the major thing is that I never, ever touch fried food.

She Jumped to Her Death and No One Knew

A girl jumped from the high building in front of my window last week. I did not see it and when investigating, I saw no blood stains on the pavement and there was no mention of it in the local papers. The ambulance service just registers the death and cleans up fast and no siren sounds. It is kept as a secret because suicide is contagious. Why people kill themselves? It is something that evolution should have eliminated long time ago. Logically, it should not exist.

Suicide ranks among the three leading causes of death among those aged 15–44 years. Attempted suicides are up to 20 times more frequent than completed ones. 800,000 suicides per year the world over. Sunny Middle East is the region with lowest suicide rates, Israel too being down on the list. The highest rates are the dark countries of Korea, Japan and Russia. 200 thousand people kill themselves each year in China alone. To me it is a paradox, as Orientals possess a stable brain that never goes mad.

A credible theory says that humans have developed religion as a defense against suicide. Chinese, Japanese, Koreans have no religion, they have no prophets and God never talked to them, they believe in no afterlife and know of no tabu foods, and everybody knows that way madness lies.

Apparently, a strong religion is a mental protection against suicide. One tricks himself to stay alive.  Thursday is Yom Kippur, a fast day, and I am on my way to the synagogue. 

Hungarian Ethnic Settlement in Israel

The people of the village of Miliya in Northern Israel, also called the Lajos village, are descendants of the Hungarian contingent of the Crusades. King Andrew II took part in the storming of Acre. These Hungarians speak Arabic and are Christians. We Jews (Judeans) returning to our land two thousand years after having been expelled by the Romans, find it occupied by a variety of foreign peoples, and the Hungarians are among the less exotic of them. One could also find hidden yet still recognizable descendants of the original Jewish population, but they have suppressed their identity, dissolving in the emerging Palestinian nation. 

Kling's Test applied to Israeli Universities

Prof. Arnold Kling estimated that only students with SAT 1300 are capable to benefit from university studies in economy (in the USA). Are there enough top students to populate the top colleges and universities? he asked.

He calculated the number of available manpower, and arrived to the conclusion that only 3 or 4 of the best universities (Yale, Harvard) could fill their classes with capable students, the lower ranking universities are fated to do with what we call "brara".

This semester there is a 84% jump in first year's math/comp students in Israel, to 17000. Engineering grew 10% to 35000. I do not have the numbers, but does Israel have 17000 talented people of the 22-24 y.o. age group of 150000 with the IQ required? Israel's average is 85 (!?) and we are 9 million, so do the math.

Say we set the cutoff point at 2 SD that is about 5%, then we have 7500 potential candidates. Half of them are females and 25% Arabs - which theoretically should not be relevant. But 30% at least has no desire to study math but continue in the yeshive, or study Law or Psychology or become an Army General or in case of being of the Palestinian persuasion, may be planning to be a suicide bomber. Some brainy girls may be attracted to the stage and/or follow a well paid career in the massage business. Any way I put it, there are not enough good students available.  In the best of the cases, only about 3 to 5 thousand in the 17000 has a chance to succeed. A large percentage - maybe 12000 - is doomed to fail, and there will be a strong pressure to lower requirement and standards. The industry will be strongly pressured to employ underqualified "diverse" professionals, as it is now. The worth of an Israeli diploma erode, for sure.

At least we make sure that no imbecile is left out.