Trying to reduce my coffee intake, I buy a 1.5 liter Sprite Zero bottle and drink it. The clear liquid must contain some psycho drug as I cannot sleep till 2 AM and then have vivid dreams of dead people. Its energizing effect is different from caffeine. Tonight visited my dead aunt Ella: she was thin and evanescent, living in a neighborhood of old Jews in small cooperative shops. Ill.: Typical old world Jewish quarter. I am making a deliberate effort to avoid thinking on the long-forgotten past, I wish myself to deal with the present and the future, but to no success. I don't want to live in the past nor dream realistic strong dreams. Now I understand the tango figure "
Fantasmas del pasado" (Phantoms of the Past).
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