Jews Arrogantly Continuing To Exist, Prosper

Initial efforts to eliminate Jews as a people first occurred during the latter half of the sixth century BCE.

Jerusalem, December 6 – Despite thousands of years’ worth of efforts to eradicate them and demonstrate the world does not want them, Jews persist in arrogant defiance of popular will by remaining in existence, and in many cases doing well, reports indicate.

Initial efforts to eliminate Jews as a people first occurred during the latter half of the sixth century BCE, historians note, and have continued on and off until the present, but have seen only mixed success at best, owing in part to what scholars call a conceited attitude on the part of Jews as individuals and as a community not to bend to the manifest preferences of those around them that they disappear or be destroyed by violence if possible.

“It’s unheard of for anyone to sustain arrogant defiance for so long,” remarked Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, a leading proponent of efforts to convince Jews to consent to extermination, by force if necessary. “It has to give, since arrogance is one of those flaws that eventually destroys you. So it has to be merely a matter of time before the entire flimsy edifice of Jewish pride comes crashing down. Perhaps we can even install a countdown clock in Tehran to help anticipate that day.”

Others noted the antidemocratic implications of Jewish insistence on continuing to exist, let alone reestablish an economically advanced sovereign state in their historic homeland. “This goes against the will of the majority of nations,” argued Mahmoud Abbas, a noted practitioner of democratic norms. “The Jews make a big deal of maintaining ‘the only truly democratic state in the Middle East,’ when in fact the very existence of that state violates the democratic principles they invoke in the process. The arrogance and hypocrisy are astounding, and the international community has not done enough to counter it. By the way, any solution that involves sidelining me and my cronies or depriving us of our economic fiefdoms is a non-starter.”

Part of the problem, analysts explain, lies in the piecemeal nature of the efforts to force Jews to acquiesce to the will of the majority. “It takes concerted effort to overcome such powerful arrogance,” noted Maurice Papon, who studied French WWII policy. “Only the Nazis managed to induce much of Europe to get rid of Jews, and even then they were only able to destroy about a third of them. Then the survivors went and built a state that’s an economic and technological powerhouse. We can’t let that accomplishment go to the Jews’ heads – what does it say about the rest of us?”

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