Meeting the Effendi

Gas stations are required to submit periodically drawings and certificates to be granted permits. I submitted the required drawing of an existing gas station to the Ministry and the company submitted separately the certificates that had to be renewed each year. The submittal was rejected without giving reasons. After several inquiries they deigned to talk to me and understood that my drawing did not agree with the certificates submitted by the petrol company. Since I had not seen what they had submitted, and the Ministry did not condescend to let me see them, I had to ask the petrol company (my employer) to mail me copies and check the whole thing.

After I saw the certificates, I identified two of them pertaining to backflow valves but the third one referred to a nonexistent fixture. I went back to the Ministry and explained that there had been a confusion and the two valid certificates are all what is needed and nothing else. "Dear J, we already have sent the case to a higher instance, so please do not call us again because we are not dealing with it anymore. (... notice how generous we are...) we have not rejected it officially but just refused to deal with it."

I have large experience with these government official aka bureaucrats, locally called "Effendi" (a legacy of the Turkish Empire). They feel that talking to their "Clients" (their web site calls us, the public - "Clients") is below their dignity. The whole case reminds me of Theodor Herzl's trying to get a "Charter" from the Sultan. To be able to talk someone of the Divan, he had to find an intermediary. Armin Vambery, the Jewish-Hungarian genius linguist and Orientalist, who knew everybody in the Court while teaching French to the girls of the seraglio, facilitated the first contact. Then came a prolonged negotiation about the size of the bribe the Zionist Organization would deliver to be granted an interview with the Sultan. The gold was discretely delivered in a silk pouch with red cord.  As Vambery had vaticinated, the Turk resulted a greedy bastard who demanded more bribes and never delivered.

I am not suggesting that Israeli effendis and pashas may be softened by presents, anyway, I am in engineering and not in the effendi business. As Herzl learnt a hundred years ago, you cannot buy an effendi.