O amigo da onça

Dois caçadores conversam em seu acampamento:
— O que você faria se estivesse agora na selva e uma onça aparecesse na sua frente?
— Ora, dava um tiro nela.
— Mas se você não tivesse nenhuma arma de fogo?
— Bom, então eu matava ela com meu facão.
— E se você estivesse sem o facão?
— Apanhava um pedaço de pau.
— E se não tivesse nenhum pedaço de pau?
— Subiria na árvore mais próxima!
— E se não tivesse nenhuma árvore?
— Sairia correndo.
— E se você estivesse paralisado pelo medo?
Então, o outro, já irritado, retruca:
— Mas, afinal, você é meu amigo ou amigo da onça?

Above an old and famous Brazilian joke. Two hunters talk about shooting an  onça, a painted or spotted jaguar. One of them is constantly proposing hypothetical situations, what if you have no ammunition, what if the animal attacks, etc. The bottom line: Tell me, are you my friend or the friend of the onça?

The cartoon: "Imagine, ten years of friendship and he never told me he was married".

This apropo a letter published in the fishwrap HaAretz, one Zvi Kaphtory defending Yakov Peri, ex Chief of the Secret Services, that lied about his military service (see former note). Kaphtory writes that he was a friend of Peri even before he was Yakov Peri (who knew that he had changed his name?), when both were starting in the service. Kaphtory describes the shaming ranks of those times: the elite were Parachutists, below them the tankists, and at the bottom the Kaf-Lamedim and then, the untouchable, leprous ב.כ.ת. (rejected) - Peri.

Kaphtory apparently explains and justifies Peri's lies about his service, but effectively has shamed him publicly. He is a typical friend of the onça, the painted jaguar.