Friday, March 9, 2018

Early morning dread

Well, they came back. The reason is simple: the taxmen is again sending me frightening letters. I pay a tremendous amount of money but that only whets their appetite. How do I survive? I leave the bed a 0400 AM and drink coffee and do some works. The coffee makes me sleep and I return to bed for one hour. Then ready to work for the day. If the anxiety bothers me, I take 5 mg diazepam. Once a week, 60 - 100 cc  and cheap alcohol to erase myself for a while.  and start the week with a tabula rasa mind. I asked my doctor if there was any danger of addiction. He said that at my age there is none. Israeli doctors have a peculiar opinion about old age. They think one should spend his last days in comfort and contentment, and drink is an important part of happiness. I think this comes to us from Russia. As Solzhenitsyn says, we exchanged some habits after two hundred years living with Russians. Jewish abstinence did not stick to them, but we did learn to enjoy vodka with salted fish. 

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